Monday, August 13, 2018

Beyond the Darkness (1979) - A Fatal Three Way

When you think of the concept of a "fatal three way", what exactly comes to mind?

You have gorgeous Anna, who is dying at the hospital. Her fiance Frank, who is a taxidermist, and Lord only knows what he is capable of doing when in despair. Then there is Iris, Frank's jealous housekeeper who actually did away with Anna using a voodoo doll. Iris just needs to feed Frank her mammary milk ducts so he can cope with losing his beautiful Anna. 

But that isn't the only way Frank copes. He actually puts his taxidermy techniques to work when he decides to "resurrect" his precious Anna. Anna's corpse seems more visually appealing than the broads Frank brings home. But then again, when you are in love, anything seems more visually appealing. 

Is this supposed to be a no brainer of some sort? You have one girl who is loose as f*ck in bed and one who just sorta lies there....

But then you realize it is time now to throw someone "in the mix"...

What asshole? Anna's twin sister Alena???!!! Can you sink any lower????

But I suppose it can be somewhat flattering because it's not like there is any competition other than Anna is just a cold corpse and Alena is still alive and hot! And Iris who??

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Sunday, August 5, 2018

Excision (2012) - Pauline's Dating Profile

Uncouth. Non-lady like. Unfiltered. Dirty. Nasty. Skeevy. Grimy. Those are some anti-glamorous adjectives used when referring to Pauline. She is a chemically imbalanced high school student who is at the mercy of her condescending and controlling mother, her sister is battling cystic fibrosis, and her father exposed her to cold sores while giving her mouth to mouth after a freak accident when younger. So if you are wondering what her family is like....

Did I mention, Pauline is kinda "kinky". She loves to experiment with blood, her own and others. She loves to have sex and have cunnilingus performed on her while she is on her period. And she has necrophiliac desires and tendencies. She also could give two shits if you are taken or not. More like she gives no shits.

Oh but don't throw up in your mouth just yet, because despite her quirks and kinks, Pauline really is not that bad..

She is actually very intelligent and has aspirations of pursuing Medicine. She utilizes her self-taught methods into actually attempting to save her sister by giving her a lung transplant all on her own. I mean it is at the expense of another human being but blood comes first right?

Her mama should be proud. So let me ask you, would you still do her?

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Madman (1982) - The Legend Of Madman Marz

Say his name. I dare you. I dare you to even say it 3 times. I dare you to laugh. I dare you to mock him. Most of all, I dare you to disbelieve...

 A group of counselors and campers gather around the fire to tell the story of the Legend of Madman Marz. This crazy and deranged man supposedly murdered his wife and children with an axe. He was supposed to be hanged but somehow broke free and has been on the loose since. Anybody that says his name and wakes him will die...

Can we say cabin fever?

Another camp cock block for a bunch of ballsy teenagers who think they are invincible. They are town legends for a reason dumbasses! 

Madman Items 2

To buy, click here, Madman Marz