Monday, December 9, 2019

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)


What you won't do...do for love... - Bobby Caldwell

Mandy Lane has it all. She is beautiful. Sexy. Popular. All the boys want to be with her. All the girls want to be her. Her beauty and power is equivalent to Helen of Troy. Her beauty started wars. Mandy's causes murders, and not very pretty ones at that. I mean doesn't every girl secretly wish she had the power to make a drunk guy jump from his rooftop right to his very own death in the pool? Maybe break some girl's jaw right out of her face? Getting eyes slashed out to a precise cut? Just to name a few. But Mandy has one true love despite her beauty's power play....her lovesick boyfriend Emmett. After all the grisly murders have been executed, Mandy and Emmett discuss their suicide pact that they made before everything took place. He was the one out of love for Mandy, committed the murders. Now he wants to lay down and die with the one true love of his life. However, beauty rears its' ugly bitchy head when Mandy double crosses Emmett and kills him, leaving with her hero Garth. But now she has Garth wrapped around her finger...

...you tried everything..and you won't give up....

Monday, December 2, 2019

GRADUATION DAY - (1981) - The Stopwatch Killer

Get your cap and gowns ready Midvale High!!! The Countdown to your last day of High School starts in 30,29,28,27,26,25..........................

Midvale High School Track students are getting bumped off by an anonymous slasher after Track star, Laura Ramstead collapses and dies while running. Coach Michaels is exceptionally tough and pushes his gym students extremely hard. After Laura's sudden demise, her sister Anne returns before Graduation Day. All it takes is a stopwatch and 30 seconds, as students meet their horrific fate. Kevin, who was Laura's boyfriend, has not gotten past what happened.






Who is the Stopwatch Killer? Is it Coach Michaels, the prick of a gym coach? Is it Anne, Laura's grieving sister? Is it Kevin, Laura's soon to be fiance after Graduation? He blames Coach Michaels and the rest of the Track team for Laura's death. Laura is his one and only. So much that he refuses to ever let her go...





Thursday, November 14, 2019

MIDSOMMAR (2019)


Definition Of Cult: a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister.

Charles Manson had a cult. So did the Wacko in Waco David Koresh. A cult is its' own country with a leader who is diabolical. What do cults do exactly? How do they find you? They prey on the weak and vulnerable. Their sixth sense can track you a mile away. They brainwash. Your weakness is their oxygen. They will suck the sanity and life out of you. In their alternate reality, rape, incest, and human sacrifice is the norm. Were they ever human? Maybe at one point. They too were weak and vulnerable. They too had fears. Nobody ever intended on alleviating those fears, only exacerbating them. They are wolves in sheep clothing. In due time, the only sacrifice they will make will be you once they no longer have use for you. It is a very dark and traumatizing road to walk on with a severely tragic ending. A complete and utter waste of humanity is the darkest tragedy of them all. If only there was somebody carrying a lantern far down that road to show you the light and salvation before your blood ends up all over the hands of the sinister cult. 

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Vault of Horror - 1973


Framing Story


5 men walk into a club. They don't have a remote clue who the other man is. But they do share one thing in common. They are all guilty as sin. Their doom is the same.

Midnight Mess



A pending family inheritance can suck every last ounce of life out of you. Harold Rodgers decides to mercilessly kill his sister Donna to claim it all. Is all the money in the world really worth it? Especially when you won't live long enough to stake your claim?


No inheritance for you. Now you will be bled dry!

The Neat Job



OK, I too am a neat freak, although my drawers are a mess. Clothes are just stacked together unfolded at times. But come on Art, don't exert such high demands on your wife. She is not Carol Brady. Maybe your OCD needs to be compartmentalized...


This Trick'll Kill You



Magic can be a curse. Never put a magic rope in a compromising position to satisfy your own greed and curiosity. Because if you do, it will position itself around your NECK!!!!

Bargain In Death



Faking your own death as part of an insurance scam??? Tsk Tsk Tsk... You get what you give and your own greed sends you straight to the Vault!!!

Drawn And Quartered



As stated above, you get what you give. Or to put it more precisely, you reap what you paint. You feel crossed and betrayed, I get that. But to put your anger and need for retribution in the hands of a Voodoo priest is treading on scalding cinder blocks. Let Karma do its' job. You paint a man with severed hands and cut eyes and they are confronted by purposeful accidents. But you will be too because you too have to have a painting of yourself. And if lets just say a certain paint thinner "accidentally" falls on your portrait, leaving it all smeared and splattered and you happen to find yourself in front of a truck....