976-EVIL (1988)

Hello, Operator, how may I direct your call? 

What do you do when you are an awkward geek named Hoax who gets bullied at school, living in the shadow of your cooler cousin Spike, have a kooky religious fanatic mother, and has so much trouble getting a girl that even your own dick has regrets? Who do you call?

Ghostbusters??

867-5309?

1-800-Help Me I Am A Loser And I'm Horny?

None of the above..

But there is hope...

You see, Hell has it's own hotline and it's called 976-EVIL.... Dial these digits and do Satan's bidding. I promise you it will be worth it. Because now everybody who has ever crossed you will get what's coming to them.

                                                       (I do not own this video)

Well, they do say nice guys finish last... But unfortunately, Satan's need for your services is only temporary until he finds his next caller..

Hello, Operator, how may I direct your call?

Oh yes, Satan is on hold, but he will be with you in just a matter of time...