Sunday, July 13, 2014

GASP!!

This actually did really happen....But the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent..


During the Summer of 1998, my best friend at the time, Dee, and I were hanging out at the town pool late in the evening. We were both 17 and in High School. Dee was 2x my size and a lot stronger than me. I was a twig back then. Though we were best friends, there was an element of dysfunction in our friendship. We would fight then make up. Fight and make up. All too frequently. But this incident caused a "serious" rift between us. You see, at the pool, Dee kept on rambling on and on about some guy she was pining for. Ken this, Ken that. And blah blah blah. Most of the things she said went in one ear and out the other.. 



Later on in the hour, 2 guys showed up at the pool and approached us. They apparently knew Dee from somewhere. I have never seen them before but one of the guys took a liking to me. He was checking me out. I didn't care too much for him though. He had to have been drunk because he was acting very rowdy and inappropriate. And he kept on pursuing me relentlessly! In and out of the pool, no less. I was uncomfortable. I had no interest in this scum bag whatsoever, but he wouldn't leave me alone. Then he started to make out with me!! I was disgusted and wanted him to leave me alone. I looked over to Dee, who was giving me the look of 1,000 deaths. What the hell I thought? I finally managed to break free from this douche and ran over to Dee. "What's going on"? I asked.. She snarled at me angrily. "You slut! You knew damn well how I felt about Ken! And there you are jumping all over him! How could you do this to me? You are supposed to be my best friend.."!  All of a sudden, I felt my eyes bulge out of my head in mere shock. "That is Ken? The guy you've been pining for"?, I asked. But Dee just shot me a look like she was devoid of any understanding. I really did not know. I mean maybe if I had just listened to Dee's mindless rambling...Dee looked as if though she wanted to KILL me...."Just understand something here..I will teach you a lesson to NEVER mess with MY man", Dee stated sternly. I did not know what to make of the look in her eyes then..

The following evening, we were back at the town pool. Dee and me. It was dark and it was just us. We were all the way on the opposite sides of the pool.  My back was facing Linden Avenue and hers was facing Brand Avenue which was a mile away from each other. But the evil stare she gave me this time was multiplied by 10. No exaggeration, but she was going to really get back at me for "stealing her guy". From a mile away with the town pool dividing us, she raged and swore at me. "You bitch, you slut! I am going to get you for this"!.. Of course, I thought her tantrum over a guy that was not even remotely worth it was beyond comical. I was hysterical laughing so hard to the point my stomach hurt. I try to turn around to walk away but all of a sudden I find my feet stuck to the cement. WTF, I thought??? My feet were glued to the cement!!!! Ok, this is not funny anymore..I am too scared to scream for help and besides, nobody would hear me anyway since it was just Dee and me at the pool. All of a sudden a dark cloud hovers over the pool and lightning strikes, and as I look ahead, I see Dee starting to grow...and grow...and GROW!!!!!! She was growing to the size of the big Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters!! In fact, that is EXACTLY what she became! And she was charging for me! And I couldn't move!!!...



I woke up with a huge gasp... Panting and sweating heavily.. But instead of waking up screaming...I woke up laughing...

Dee and I did not speak for the rest of the Summer...